All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
