oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
