GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
