hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
