you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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