i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
