dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
