dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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