Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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