I got chris browned last night
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
