I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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