Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
