PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
