YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
