Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Can Purell be used as lube?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
