yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
