I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
