My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
