He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
