Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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