The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
