His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
