yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Randomize
