I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
