so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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