would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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