Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
