it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
