Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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