omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
