Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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