onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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