I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
