just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize