he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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