we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
