Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
