hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
