I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
