I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
sex in a hospital.. check
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize