do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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