I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I love you. Go after that dick
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
