Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he told me I talked like a deaf person
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
