Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
it's great music for shaving your balls
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
