Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
