I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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