The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
