I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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