you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
