Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
