You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize