There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Randomize
