wat bout pragnant strippers??
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize