Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
