i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
