he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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