Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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