Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
