love makes seman taste better
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
