girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
