the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
