Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
