i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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