Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
